The Shadow Returns

Well you thought you were rid of me? You thought I had faded away? You thought I had forgotten about you all? Well you were all wrong!

I have been watching and waiting from high above judging the time to make a dramatic and explosive return!

And the thing that has sparked my return at this exact moment in time? It is a black mark upon the very soul of film making, a corruption in the body of acting and a film that makes 'Vampire Bikini Girls VS The Totally Invisible Aliens' look fantastic. That film is Gameboy. And not just Gameboy but to give it its full title 'Gameboy: Souls of the USA' First off the title 'Souls of the USA' can I please be locked in the room with the person who came up with that (I hope to god it wasn't the screenwriter) where he/she is tied to a chair and I have a pineapple, a bucket of paint, some wax and pliers. It is like someone thought 'need to make this relevent to modern life...right will include USA in it' But once we get past the title (only possible if your under 14) the film itself is just as dire. The One... again...in a fantasy world inhabited by computer game characters. I wan't to know where the hell Duke Nukem is, he will sort out the problem. And Link isn't he meant to be 'The One' as well. Comign to that how many One's have we had now? Should be more like 'one of the four million'. *Sigh* repetive drivel that should not have recieved the attention it did. Unfortunetly it did and shockingly people actually went to see it... I mean come on!

The problem is kids. Kids do not belong in the cinema. The cinema should be an entertainment media for those over 18 only, those who can appreciate the art of the cinema. Not pre-pubescants who giggle at bodily function jokes. All in all I urge everyone who hasn't see this not too, infact buy the DVD on release but burn it preferably outside the DVD store with placards. Thats what I'm going to do.

There I feel much better, don't you? So while I am here, what else is going on? Well awards are upon us again and once the nominations are out I may or maynot release another of my awards list. Depends if I feel like it.In news...well I'm too exhausted after my rant but I'm sure I will be back one day... infact I may decide to contact CMP and pitch my own scripts... and then I can show you all! And you will all bow down before me and fear me as I sweep through the cinemas of a cloud of celluoid and money!!!!!

Untill then I depart dear mortals. Untill next time.