SPECIAL ARTICLE
THE GOLDEN MOON AWARDS WINNERS

By Bob Felton

So the GMA came and went for the 7th time... and what can I say? This one has probably been the less glamorous edition of the awards. No, I didn’t like the nominees. I mean, who can feel thrilled with a ceremony where the main candidates were stars like Jena Malone or Haley Joel Osment? Where have the glamorous stars gone? Ok, ok, I know it does not always have to be Jack Nicholson and Kate Winslet and Robert De Niro there… but watching a ceremony where Vin Diesel was one of the hosts and Jack Black was the most applauded winner… where’s CMP going?

Well, ok, after a big yawn, here is my vision of it all…

THE WINNERS

This is one of those times when the awards seem planned to keep everybody happy. I mean, there was something for everybody and everybody can feel satisfied. Collins got Best Screenplay and Froats got Best Picture. Jena got Best Actress but Kate got Best Couple… and same goes for Jodie and Frances. Two movies got 3 awards, the two Collins’ female stories got 2 awards… Bla, bla, bla… It looks as if voters got a cake and cut pieces for everyone not wanting anybody unhappy.

Some GMA’s traditions were respected. First, Best Director and Best Picture went once again to the same movie. Second, the most nominated movie (7 nominations for that nice tv movie, ‘Lyra’, was way too much than it deserved) wasn’t at the end the most awarded one. Both things are usual at the GMA.

Novelties? Best Screenplay and Best Picture went separate ways. So the fight between Froats and Collins (probably the only funny thing in this Edition) can be considered that ended in a draw. And another novelty: Best Villain and Best Supporting Actor went both for Bill Murray, which is nice but does not make completely sense (if there is a Best Villain category, nominees there should not be admitted in another category for the same acting job… I think).

Winners? Ok. Let’s declared the funny ‘Only In America’ the official winner of this Edition. And let’s laugh at the fact that the two box office’s disasters of the Season – the hyper-dramatic ‘Velcro’ and the excessive ‘Life and Facts of a Dirty Mind’ – were among the four most awarded movies.

THE LOSERS

Poor Michelle Pfeiffer. Internal CMP’s sources have confirmed me that she was the most voted star for Best Supporting Actress, far away from Frances and Jodie in nominees’ election. But some times voters change their mind during the gap between nomination and winners’ elections. Suddenly, Michelle lost almost all her supporters and Jodie Foster was the unexpected – at least for the guys that know the insides – winner.

Poor Rupert too. We all knew it from the beginning: voters would love to be eccentric and vote for Jack Black – who, in my opinion, only makes an overacting show in his movie. The classy Rupert Everett, who has created that wonderful character Harry Flashman, just applauded and smile while Haley Joel Osment’s face showed that he was still wondering how could have he got there.

I’m relief. Hayden Christensen and Evan Rachel Wood didn’t make it at Best Starring Couple. If that category is supposed to reward the best chemistry on screen between two talents, what were they doing there? Remember: they did not appear together in any single scene of ‘Together Apart’!!!

And yes, let’s officially declare ‘Lyra’ as the defeated movie of the night. 2 awards are not too much after 7 nominations. But, hey, on the other side, let’s repeat here that 7 nominations was a too high reward for a nice little movie like this.

THE SURPRISES

Were there any?

Personally, I had no doubt about Murray for Best Villain or Black and Malone for Best Actor and Actresses.

As we all know, people love to reward comedians when they get serious. It is the case of Murray. He has been a great comedian for years but it was only after he made ‘Lost In Translation’ that everybody seemed amaze to discover he is a good actor. Hey, I’ll say it again: making us laugh is as hard - or even harder - than making us cry or think!

I didn’t care about some things after my favourite candidates were ignored in the nomination process. I am still wondering who in hell thought that Kevin Spacey made a better job than Christian Bale in ‘Monolith’. Or why nobody wanted to vote the best CMP’s villain ever, Mr. Benicio ‘Darkman’ del Toro…

Let me yawn again… everything was so predictable.

THE CEREMONY

A secret revealed: For the first time (thanx, God) not all the ceremony was written by the guys from CMP’s screenwriters team. No other than GMA Best Screenplay winner, Mr. Ben Tyler, was the writer of the introductory dialogue between Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell. And that’s probably the reason why, after seven editions, that first moment was really funny. Well done, Mr. Tyler.

I loved the Sarah Silverman’s song. It is about time that someone in CMP considers Silverman to star any movie from the Studio.

Should Jena stay blonde? Yak…

And I felt a certain lack of glamour not only in the winners but in the presenters’ list. Lucas proved again that he is not exactly the funniest guy on Earth while Carrey and Rose McGowen made the less appealing couple I’ve seen in ages…

Yes, yes, I know I may be a bit too negative about everything… But, hey, I’m doing it on purpose. We are always too kind when writing about CMP’s movies and events… *evil laugh*


Chicago is such a lovely place. But the GMA's are even more lovely when you get to see them in person. I sit in my hotel room now, not feeling disappointed as I feel every winner and nominee was well deserved.

My favorite non-award parts were the opening bit between Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell. Though I have seen articles on the 'net saying Will does have Q*Bert to look forward to, but that just wouldn't be funny.

The other part would be Sarah Silverman's hilarious parody song about the season finished off with a lesbian kiss on Jena Malone that got the guys wild. I doubt that part was televised though to avoid crazy soccer moms talking about how that song corrupted their child's fragile foul little minds.

As far as fashion was concerned, I'm a guy and I will say I have the worst fashion sense of any man. However, Jena Malone looked cute but Kim Basinger...yummy. One of the few 55 year olds I wouldn't mind shacking up with after seeing that outfit. Katherine Hiegl presented? All i saw was a loaded rack talking to George Clooney.

Josh Collins and Jack Black delivered in my opinion the best speeches of the night. Both were very funny and I was entertained by the mock commercials playing throughout the ceremony between Josh Collins and Ted Froats as if it were a political campaign. It was a good night for both of them seeing as how both had winners all night, the biggest one being the main event of the ceremony, Only in America.

I think the supporting actress award was the most surprising acting award given out. Jodie came out on top after being considered the third place contender. She even went so far after the ceremony to say she was lucky and didn't deserve it as much as the other two women but she was still honored.

As for the rest of them, predictable but still well deserved. I wasn't expecting Kevin to be given the same award he already won last season and Woody's role was good enough to get a nomination, but not to pull off a win. Lead actor and actress awards already had Jena and Jack's names on them.

I was able to catch up to Collins after the ceremony and asked him what he felt about winning the first time after four consecutive nominations. "Very happy, just have to have patience and you'll get there. Lyra may have been more successful and well-liked, so it was surprising to me that Velcro gave me the win. It's a wonderful story, just had moments that would make a viewer uncomfortable." He dedicated the award to the girls who were nominated, and the girls who were unfortunately left out such as Chloe Moretz, Agnes Bruckner and Allison Anders, but they were all well deserving, also to his loving and supportive family.

Good for Cameron Crowe to get the best director win. Once again, the best picture and best director awards were given to the same film. A tradition that's put into my mind that when you want to know the best picture, all you'll need to know is see who wins best director. This has happened all but two times in GMA history and has been for the Oscars for a while as well.

All and all it was a great night, and this is before Mrs. Thumb and I will keep the hotel neighbors up for a few more hours. No complaints from this critic. I'm looking forward to Season 8!

IMPORTANT:

CMP GOES ON SUMMER HOLIDAYS

(It won’t be another hiatus. Just a short break)

WE’LL BE BACK IN THE FIRST DAYS OF SEPTEMBER!