APRIL, 6


THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY

Adventure / Drama
Cast: Emile Hirsh, Jamie Bell, Emmy Rossum, Philip Seymour Hoffman, James Franco, Matt Dillon, Stephen Dorff. Cameos by Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Oliver Platt.
Director and Producer: Steven Spielberg
Screenwriter: Joey Stark

Box Office: 41 mill.
Net Gains: 6 mill.

Stark’s Reaction: I confess I am so sad with this weak box office’s numbers. I know very well all the effort and expectations that my brother Joey had put in this movie. All I can say is that it is a shame it hasn’t worked even closer to what we all thought it would. Sniff…

BEDTIME STORIES 2

Horror
Cast: Josh Lucas, Austin Williams, Bailee Madison, Kristen Stewart, Evan Rachel Wood, Thomas Hayden Church, Scott Speedman, Sissy Spacek, Amy Ryan, Judi Dench
Directors: Wes Craven, David Slade, John Carpenter
Producer: Midnight Movies
Screenwriter: Josh Collins

Box Office: 23 mill.
Net Losses: 15 mill.

Stark’s Reaction: Again, horror proves to be a condemned genre in CMP. What can I say? We did our best, but we just could not make it work…

YOU CAN’T DO THAT IN THE MOVIES

Comedy / Slapstick
Cast: Abigail Breslin, Dakota Fanning, Freddie Highmore, Josh Hutcherson, AnnaSophia Robb, Erik Per Sullivan, Matt Kubrick, Dawson Edwards, Josh Collins, Harry Stark
Director: Peter and Bobby Farrelly
Screenwriter: Matt Kubrick

Box Office: 43 mill.
Net Gains: 12 mill.

Stark’s Reaction: No matter how many movies I have produced… This business keeps surprising me. Can you believe that this movie has been the best release of the week? Oh, boy…


THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY

‘This is a movie called to become a CMP’s classic. Spielberg and Stark have teamed up in an almost impossible mission: turning into a movie the dense, sometimes even baroque, Michael Chabon’s novel. And they have mostly succeeded in this complex task. This movie is one of those has-it-all movies that can satisfy almost any target audience. The only reason why it has not become the box office’s success it was expected to be may be its length. The story wants to tell so many things that finally becomes a bit exhausting. In fact, the pace of the movie decreases and the plot loses strength in its second half, when Kavalier goes to war to live that survival adventure at the Arctic and then his strange return to New York takes place. It is as if in that second half Spielberg loses a bit control of the story. Cutting something like 30 minutes or so in the editing room would have helped a lot this splendid movie.’
-Charlie Kiggs

‘Spielberg was too attached to action and adventure movies in his CMP’s career. Finally, he has bet for a more artsy story, still keeping his epic narrative style. ‘Kavalier and Clay’ is a beautiful story, sometimes extremely romantic, sometimes tragic, sometimes even funny and, at all times, inspiring and interesting. Finally, Spielberg has made his big CMP’s movie, a work he will be remembered for in CMP’s world. Visually impeccable, sustained by a rich story full of shades, brilliantly shot, the great novel written by Chabon has found in Spielberg the perfect man to take it to the big screen. ‘Kavalier & Clay’ is an unique piece of art that will still be watched many years from now, like all great movies are.’
-Roy Winslow

‘I am glad to see that Joey Stark still remembers how to write good adult oriented stories, after being abducted by the interests of his brother Harry focusing for so long in writing blockbusters only interesting for CMP’s bank account. ‘Kavalier & Clay’ is a very ambitious story – maybe, ‘too’ ambitious, as it pretends to tell and develop too many issues and events – with a nice vintage atmosphere and an intelligent dosage of different situations and feelings. The splendid job of the cast – specially the starring trio, but also that unkind editor wonderfully created by Philip Seymour Hoffman – and the detailed recreation of the period helps to provide this movie its demanded ‘grandeur’ turning it into a movie in which you will discover something new each time you watch it.’
-Amy Ratched

BEDTIME STORIES 2

‘Short-stories movies are always a risky bet, as not many moviegoers like them. CMP has been pretty lucky with them – remember the two installments of ‘Tales Of The Unexpected’, being the first one the best short-story movie from the Studio so far. ‘Bedtime Stories 2’ follows the wake not only of its direct antecessor but also of those ‘Tales…’, looking at some moments for disturbing suspense more than strictly horror. And it does it with talent. There’s no reason for the flop of this movie beyond the initial reluctance of moviegoers to watch short-stories movies. It is a shame, because the three stories told in the movie are interesting enough to make this proposal a worthy cinematic experience’.
-Anne Roman

‘Collins tries luck again in the horror genre – where he has had forgettable previous experiences like the horrible ‘The Dead Walk’ – with irregular results. He has written a wonderful story, ‘The Landlord’, fully disturbing and sexy in a sick way, that can be considered as one of the best short stories ever seen in all the CMP’s movies of the genre. ‘Hansel and Gretel’ is a correct – but only correct - update of the classic tale, making it more gory and claustrophobic, bringing the story closer to contemporary horror concepts – saving the differences - seen in movies like ‘Hostel’ or ‘Saw’. And ‘Don’t Close Your Eyes’, the weakest story of the trio, retakes concepts seen in some classic Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories without reaching the necessary level of horror and suspense. So the sum of the three makes one great, one correct and one weak story: not enough to attract the interest of wide audiences.’
-Jackie O’Callaghan

‘It is a shame that, after a nice period, horror movies have returned again to be a cursed genre in CMP. The huge success of ‘Silent Hill’ made us all expect a Golden Era of horror movies in CMP. But that was only a mirage. The lousy sequel of ‘Silent Hill’ brought us back to reality: making a horror movie work in box office has always been too difficult for the Studio. ‘Bedtime Stories 2’ is not a bad horror proposal. It is not a wonderful one either. But while CMP’s action and sci-fi movies usually work no matter their quality, horror movies always suffer too much at box office. I am not saying that ‘Bedtime Stories 2’ is a must see. But it is ok. And, in other genres, that’s enough to make a decent box office. A shame it is not the same with horror.’
-Lilly Stevens

YOU CAN’T DO THAT IN THE MOVIES

‘Making a silly comedy is a riskier bet than it may seem. The problem with silly comedies is that they can be silly and funny or plain silly. ‘The Hellbowl’, also written by Matt Kubrick (together with Josh Collins that time), was a silly comedy that was funny too. This ‘You can’t…’ is only silly. And that’s embarrassing. You just can’t understand how all the executives, the movie crew, the directors and the screenwriter – summing them all, a crowd – just don’t realize that they are making such a lousy production. But that’s not the biggest problem. The big problem is that, at the end, that terrible product is released and it makes profits! So the paradox here is that not even the silly but funny ‘The Hellbowl’ worked in box office but this plainly silly ‘You can’t…’ has made a more than decent box office and has generated nice gains for the Studio. And that’s terrifying…’
-Chris Burgess

‘CMP has made a wise and tricky move with this production. The Studio has designed a promotional campaign for it presenting it as a children oriented movie when in fact it is not. ‘You can’t…’ uses a childish concept – taken from a horrible tv show – to laugh at CMP’s movies and authors. In fact, the movie is a product ‘for CMP’s fans only’, cause if you are not familiar with the insides and the stories of the Studio, you won’t even understand most of the jokes. So young audiences bit the hook and have paid a ticket to watch a movie that it is not for them, no matter how many pies are splashed in somebody’s face. So a dishonest marketing campaign has made this poor production work in box office way much better than it deserved…’
-Tim Reeve

‘From time to time, CMP loves to laugh at itself. The first ‘Lieutenant USA’ movie was a brilliant spoof of CMP’s productions. Also movies like ‘Celebutantes’ or ‘The Critic’ included ingenious private jokes about CMP’s world. But ‘You can’t…’ cannot be paired with any of those movies. We only have here a succession of easy and cheap jokes based on the most primary sense of humor that do not work at any moment. None of the sketches – that take us back to the worst Mel Brooks – get to work (being very generous, only the parody of teen dramas and the parody of Saving Private Ryan could be saved from absolute disaster). Probably, Abigail, Dakota and the rest of the teen gang have had a good time making this movie… But they are the only ones that have had fun with it.’
-Jake Cobb


THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY

BEST OF IT: This is a story worth telling that hasn't been told. Taking place during the golden age of comics(funny considering how many films CMP has made based on comics). I smell GMA bait, and this is certainly worth it. The cast, direction, writing, everything that would go into making the most perfect film.

WORST OF IT: Like most of these nearly 3 hour long movies, the film moves a little slowly and there seems to be just a little too much going on to follow. It is still worth a viewing though.

SHINING STAR/DEAD WEIGHT: Anthony finally gets a role where he's not typecasted as a villain and he only makes a cameo? Anyhow, this was just one of those films where there isn't really any dead weight. Everyone on the cast was engrossing.

THE BRAINS BEHIND: Steven said he wanted a film that didn't involve big budget action shows, as he is also well known for his award-bait dramas(Saving Private Ryan/Munich/Schindler's List) and this proves that CMP writers should consider him for that style of genre as well. Joey Stark may have just received a reserved slot for a GMA nod.

IN CONCLUSION: A- enjoy this well made film, but be prepared to sit through a long one.

BEDTIME STORIES 2

BEST OF IT: I liked how the film paid homage to the 'multiple short films in one' style as the horror films such as Creepshow have done. It also does a decent job keeping true to the first film. I felt like a teen or child sitting around the campfire with friends telling spooky stories, but with much more violent stories to tell. I think the Hansel and Gretel story was the show-stealer, retelling the classic children's tale as violent as it originally was.

WORST OF IT: Being a horror film, of course we're all going to find something wrong with it. I did find the corny bit with the dad and kids to probably be the worst in terms of believability. I can imagine children telling each other scary violent stories, but not a parent no matter how bad the kids want a scary story.

SHINING STAR/DEAD WEIGHT: These films aren't meant to have incredible acting. The cast had very well known actors, but they did the best they could do with it.

THE BRAINS BEHIND: Josh did a correct job with the film. It wasn't a 'Silent Hill' by any standards, but it did what it wanted to do and entertain, pay homage to the first film. Here's hoping subsequent 'Bedtime Story' films will follow. Carpenter, Slade and Craven three names very well associated with horror did decent jobs as well.

IN CONCLUSION: C it entertains, but you really have to be a fan of horror to get something out of it.

YOU CAN’T DO THAT IN THE MOVIES

BEST OF IT: Do not go into this movie without putting research into what you're going to watch. This is a film that knows it's bad, even the poster says, "Did you think we could not make a worse movie?" so you know what you're getting into. It's interesting that it pays homage to the old Nickelodeon show and I applaud Kubrick for trying something new.

WORST OF IT: Must I really put something in this section? It makes those hideous 'Date Movie/Epic Movie/Disaster Movie' films look like Oscar contenders.

SHINING STAR/DEAD WEIGHT: A cast headed mainly by pretty much all the most desired young actors in CMP. It was fun to watch them goof around with a few of the big CMP authors and CMP studio head. Brought me back to the days of being little myself and just focusing on a game with friends to play for hours outside.

THE BRAINS BEHIND: The Farrelly Brothers are usually very good comedic directors, but a film with so many pie-in-the-face jokes seems like a movie reserved for those aforementioned 'Movie Movie' films, a huge leap back for the Farrelly Brothers. As for Kubrick, he too is always looking to try something new and I have no complaints about that.

IN CONCLUSION: F very very very few films are given an 'F' grade, but this is just something that I can't see anyone spending money for a ticket on.

Mr. Thumbs certified must-see of the week:

THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY

MIDSEASON’S TOP 5

We reach this week the middle of the season and things are not going too bad. We already have one ‘200’ and a couple of ‘100’ and only 4 out of the 15 movies released flopped at box office. Considering that the Studio still has a few possible blockbusters scheduled to be released in the next five weeks, we at CMP feel pretty satisfied and confident that Season 13 may not be a record-breaker but still will be a comfortable Season in terms of financial results. Here’s the top 5 of the Season so far:

(Box Office / Net Gains)

1.THE DARK TOWER: WOLVES OF THE CALLA: 215 / 249
2.ZOIDS: EVE: 136 / 83
3.JUSTICE LEAGUE: 130 / 123
4.UNCOMMON VALOUR: ONLY THE VALIANT: 96 / 66
5.THE LOVERS STAGES: 55 / 16